needs honest advice

there has been something that has really been bothering me for a while and i dont know what to do....
a couple yrs ago my best friend and i were talking on the phone and we were talking about what we would name our kids when we were older... and i told her for a boy i wanted to name my child hunter and she said she had never heard that name and she thought it was cute and at the time i didnt think much about it because i thought she was just telling me my choice was good... well a little over a yr ago i got prego and i said if i had a boy i was still going to name him hunter then she told me her husband and her liked that name for a boy to and that pissed me off but i didnt let it get to me then a couple weeks before we were going to find out the sex of the baby i called her for one reason and that was to ask her how set she was on naming her son hunter because i picked that name because no one i knew had the name and also because it was different so i would not want my best friends child to have the same name as mine... and she said " no i am sure by the time we have kids me and my hubby will find a different name" so i went through with naming my son hunter... a couple months after i had my son my best friend became prego and i asked her all the time what she had picked out for names and she said she didnt know ( but she is someone who always plans everything in advance) and a couple months aog i asked her again if she picked names because honestly i had a gut feeling she was going to name her boy hunter if it was a boy so i asked her and and she said hunter and i was so pissed because she said one thing and did another so later that night i wrote to her and told her it bothered me and she said she couldnt understnad why i was over reacting and honestly i dred talking to her and to this day i still havent brought my son to meet her and next fall my husband and i are getting re married ( a big wedding ) because we just had a quick little one before and she keeps asking about who is going to be in my bridal party ( i was her maid of honor) and i wont answer her because honestly i still feel like it is a slap in the face with the whole name thing... my question is if you were in my shoes would you be upset? would you still have her in your wedding? am i over reacting? it seems like the only time i am not upset is when i dont talk to her... i already felt in the past that she use to copy me all the time and now with the name it just added onto it and with planning a big wedding this time around i feel like i cant do what i want for my wedding because when she was planning ehr wedding i was helping her and telling her what i was going to do for mine and yet once again she copied a bunch of my ideas ( i wouldnt have told her if i knew she was goign to copy me) so already a bunch of our friends are going to be coming to my wedding and are going to see how much it is like hers which at the end of the day it was because of all my ideas... part of me thinks she is doing it to piss me off because when i told her i was prego her first reaction was " krista how could u do that u know my wedding is soon... i thought we were going to be prego together" and i never once said i wanted to be prego at the same time as her.. i really dont knwo what to do and i need some advice...

Krista, first off, don't sweat the small stuff. Best friends are hard to come by. Be flattered she wants the same things as you. Now that you know she copies everything, just do something different. If you truly value the friendship you will have a heart to heart with her - don't accuse her, just explain your feelings. She may just be feeling insecure and looks to you for ideas. Years from now you can both look back at this and laugh or could both look back and wish you were still friends. Good Luck and keep us posed.

. it would piss me off f someone so close to me knew how important it was to havethat name and then stole it from you after yo cant do anything about it! BUT like jersma said dont sweat the small stuff and take it as a compliment because obviously she likes your opinion.
as for the wedding, its one day YOUR day but remember if eventually you get over it are ou going to regret not having her in your wedding or as a friend? in doing so may hurt her feelings and ruin a friendship so its up to you. GOOD LUCK!

Just think....if you decide to remain friends with her that will mean that your children will grow up as friends too, and it would be really (i think) to have a friend with the same name as me, knowing that our names were the same because our mom's BOTH liked the name. Honey, it is extremely flattering that she likes your ideas. believe me, think how it would feel if it were the opposite. If every time you came up with an idea she shot it down and said it was stupid...no, she's not doing that, she likes your ideas so much she is incorporating them into her own life. i would suggest in the future to NOT disclose anything such as wedding plans or anything like that that may turn out that she "steals" the ideas from you. But if it an idea that you come up with and use before her and then she uses the idea too...how incredibly flattering...., it means she trusts your decisions totally! Do NOT take it out on her child, or yours for that matter because she named her son the same as yours. Just think, why did you like her in the first place, she must have some redeeming qualities that you like. Like they said above, good friends are a real rarity. and all of our friends have little quirks that drive us crazy. But in the long run you just can't throw them out because they are annoying. My suggestion to you would be to let the name thing go, forget about it. But in the future remember to keep your plans quiet until AFTER you have already used them, that way she can't use one of your ideas BEFORE you do.

I know how upset you are, I had a friend say that I could not use the name I had picked out for my son because she had her heart set on that name(which I didn't even know), and she stopped talking to me. I didn't even name my son that name, but I do agree with everybody else. I would see it as flattering. A good friend is very hard to come by. I had so many friends I thought were good friends, who turned out to be horrid. I know it's painful. Have you tried talking to her calmly? After you said everything you have to say, let it go. It would be to have a friend with the same name. And so close in age.

As an artist people have always told me "imitation is the highest form of flattery" and it's true but then at the same time I just wanna.... HAHAHAHA I used to have a friend that copied everything I wore it drove me nuts. We stopped being friends after High School. You need to decide if you want her as a friend because if you don't invite her to your wedding she might get really pissed. So hey, if you're over the whole friendship then $50 per plate is too much to put out for someone you don't like. At the same time if you do invite her maybe she'll bring a really gift since she already knows your taste. Think about later in life when you look back at your wedding photos and videos......will you see her in your and think "ARGH I hate that chick" or will you look back and think " I'm really glad everyone put their aside and had a killer time at the party"?

iw rote to her a while ago and told her how much it bothered me and honestly we have not talked about it since the last couple times we have talked i dont tell her anything and honestly if she is suppose to be my best friend i should be able to tell her things... like i smile said these are things i have been excited for my whole life and i feel like she is taking them from me... i dont want to end our friendship over it all but even after i told her she still stuck with it and i feel that if she cared about me she would respect my feelings... and she has been having problems with her baby and i have to find out about it online and it just really sucks she is exculding me from things so hinestly i dont feel like including her in my things... yes it is nice that people think u have good taste and like your ideas but when your best friend knows how much ti bothers u why do that? because then she will know it will make me upset... there are just a lot of little things she is doing that bother me and with taking the name that just topped it... since her hunsband built a house before they got married she has been acting really stuck up but at the end of the day if they get divorced it is his house and she has nothing once again... and it is like she has changed so much in a short period of time... i just wish she would find a different name... there re millions of names in the world why choose the same name as your best friend???

Cuz she sucks Krista!!!! I say don't invite her, have a blast and you know what???? There are sooooo many other people in the world to be friends with who cares if she's not around. My best best friends in High School have totallly vanished from my life and over the last 13 years I have made so many friends and met so many good people that my old friends who have pissed me off or ..ehem... "slept with my man" just don't even matter anymore. I say ditch her and find new buds!!! Maybe she'll realize what a booty she's been when she totally missed out on your wedding.

I would be very upset about this. Yes, imitation is a form of flattery but sometimes it goes toooooo far. This isn't a pair of boots or pocketbook, etc. This is your child's name. Wow.....one thing is for sure I would never do that to a friend.
I always wanted my children to have their own names not copied off a friend's child.
The only positive thing is that you have the first Hunter. I do like that name a lot but that doesn't mean I am going to copy off of you.
It is your decision about a future relationship with her. Will this copying behavior continue and cause upsetment?